HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN NOTHING PERSON

 THE NOTHING PERSON:


Nothing People are passive, but can be task focused or people-focused depending on their intert-get it right or get along. When the intent to get along is threatened, shy people tend to with draw and become ever more passive. When get it right Nothing People see their quest for perfection thwarted, they get frustrated and withdraw, convinced that nothing will change the situation, no matter what they say or do.

Although Nothing People seem to withdraw from conflict, inside they can be boiling cauldrons of hospility. Silence can be their form of aggression. Your goal with a Nothing Person is to break this silence and persuade him or her to talk. Here is a surefire five-step process to break your Nothing Person's silence Plan enough time. Dealing successfully with a Nothing Person may take a long time. If you're tense because of time constraints, you may be too intense to draw him or her out. The more intense you get, the deeper the Nothing Person withdraws into nothing. So pick the time and place for approaching your Nothing Person so that you have the time it takes.

Ask open-ended questions expectantly. The best question for a Nothing Person is one that can't be answered with a yes, a no, or a grunt. Ask questions that begin with a "Who, "What," "When," "Where," or "How" to open up topics for discussion. Make sure that your non-verbal communication is also asking for a response. You must look and sound like you're about to get an answer. We call this the "expectant look" and it works.

Lighten it up. When nothing else is working, a little humor can go a long way. Making absurd, exaggerated, and impossible guesses as to the cause of the silence has cracked the armor of some of the most intransigent Nothing People.

Guess. If your Nothing Person still isn't responding, try putting yourself in his or her shoes and thinking back over the course of events as to what that per- son might be feeling. Start talking out loud, rattling off possibilities whether they seem plausible or far out. It doesn't matter. If you can hit on or near the reason for the silence, the person will figure the jig is up and he or she might as well start talking. If you don't come close, the Nothing Person may figure you don't have a clue and feel compelled to tell you what is going on.

Show the future. Sometimes the only way to get Nothing People talking is to take them out of the moment and show them the consequences of their continued silence. Don't make idle threats, but be clear about how their behavior could damage the project or your relationship.

"No verbal feedback, no nonverbal feedback. Nothing. What else could you expect from ... the Nothing Person?"




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